Wayne's Pick of the Week: How Tough are Kiwis?

The scene is set- a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire, one from Australia , one from Seth Efrika and one from New Zulland. Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous. The night of tales begins.

Colin the Australain: 'I must be the meanest, toughest, hang glider there eze. Why, just the other day I landed een a field and scared a croc, who came out of a billabong and ate seeks men who were standin close by. I grabbed the croc and drowned heem in a poohl of water with my bare hands. He didn stand a chaaance'

Hansie from Seth Efrika who typically can't stand to be bettered said, 'Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. End I'm still here!'

Kiven the Kiwi remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his cock.