Chronicles of Rick: Pat’s Missing Chimpo & Other Stories

Pat and Terry from Wellington were on the Tokyo subway about 12 yrs ago after a night on the piss. Pat, who had recently passed [majored] in Japanese from Massey uni, which was a great surprise to me because up until now Pat total Japanese vocabulary consisted of “bring more beer,” and to the waitress “are you free tonite or do you charge?”

Pat had been in Japan soon after the end of the war where a bar of soap got you lots of nice things.

Well Pat’s in the train and they are going home to Jimbocho which is near the Kodokan. Not quite sure which stop Jimbocho was Pat decided to ask a gaggle of old Japanese women who were sitting opposite. In his best Massy recently learnt Japanese he says "Do you know where my chimpo is?"

Unfortunately chimpo means my dick. Well you should have seen this gaggle of old Japanese tarts. They pissed themselves laughing and it is reported that when the train got to my dick station they were still laughing as pat went out the door with head greatly lowered.

*** 

Rick and Pat were wandering around Nagao prefecture , looking at the scenery, drinking sake, doing judo when we could find any.

One day, while walking to the next station, I keep nagging Pat to buy another crocodile shirt as his black one had turned gray from repeated washing everyday … and being gaijin[foreigners] we needed to look tidy.

We stumbled upon a clothing shop which had some nice croc shirts. Pat picked a nice black one for 5000 yen. While still walking to the station he wanted to put in on but it had one of those impossible-to-break plastic tags attached. So I said to Pat “don’t worry, there’s a hotel over there and they will have a pair of scissors you can borrow.”

We arrived at the hotel. Pat goes to the front and I wandered over to the information desk and while there Pat asked for what he thought was a pair of scissors. Laughing I called out to Pat and told him he had just asked for a pair of sharks.

same=shark

hasami = scissors

So much for the Japanese course at Massey.

 ***

Going back a few years, 1975 to be exact, at that time the NZ Judo champs were always held in Wellington at Easter, we were staying at Pat’s in the middle of being renovated house on Mt Victoria.

This was the 1st year that we had started printing judo tee-shirts and I was back at Pats’ place printing a re-run of tee-shirts for the next day but I need something to practice printing on. So after printing Pats’ tee-shirts and towels I saw Ivor Endicott-Davies judogi  … so I printed that for him to take back to Belcutha as a souvenir.

Ivor came home later from the pub, saw his judogi printed and was pissed off. Seeking revenge he spied a pair desert boots which he thought belonged to me.

So grabbing some 4 inch nails he drives them into the boots, saying will this teach Littlewood a lesson.

This next morning Pat goes to put his boots on , but! they don’t move.